so now we have the monthly lows... Period cycles.
This past week i have had to learn about what it means to be emotionally independence.. didn't realise i would struggle seriously with this. but here i am.
I will talk about this in a minute.
i want to try this blogging/diary entry again
so i can review later
lately i've been feeling like i've missed my window (Don't know how)
at this age.. thought i would be married/engaged or at the very least in a serious relationship going towards that end.. ideally i wanted to be pregnant by 28 and then start motherhood circa 29.. lol we plan and God laughs.
I understand that everyone's paths are different and each person's is different and we really should appreciate where we are at this point in life. each season will have it's own challenges.
The problem with not being where you want to be is the problem of unmet expectations. which unfortunately we then put on people who are most likely to meeting them.. when that shouldn't be the case.
now i realise what happened and why i have been feeling the way i have lately. esp with S
to be honest sometimes i don't know where we are going or if there' sany point doing this.. giving/making effort
other times.. i see it.. it's good. this is something good. something worth investing in to grow.
unfortunately the last months and a half.. has thrown us off course. seriously.. with the business stuff and then the health challenges. and i sit to myself what's the point of sticking with the guy through this.. does he even appreciate me being there (Doesn't feel like it sometimes tbh)
others feels like ahaa this si he reason why i'm here
anyway s
so this brings me back to why i started the post to begin with..
i guess i was starting to feel a bit broody lol for marriage/kids my own family. see so many people starting off their own lives.. and i'm not sure where i am.
- Thankfully i've got a job for after NYSC... not sure re: pay and all pending medical reports by God's grace all goes well.
so i don't really know what to do or think. will pray about it.
but i am glad i am able to recognise that the down mood is on my own and not from anyone else and it's up to me and God to sort it out...
This past week i have had to learn about what it means to be emotionally independence.. didn't realise i would struggle seriously with this. but here i am.
I will talk about this in a minute.
i want to try this blogging/diary entry again
so i can review later
lately i've been feeling like i've missed my window (Don't know how)
at this age.. thought i would be married/engaged or at the very least in a serious relationship going towards that end.. ideally i wanted to be pregnant by 28 and then start motherhood circa 29.. lol we plan and God laughs.
I understand that everyone's paths are different and each person's is different and we really should appreciate where we are at this point in life. each season will have it's own challenges.
The problem with not being where you want to be is the problem of unmet expectations. which unfortunately we then put on people who are most likely to meeting them.. when that shouldn't be the case.
now i realise what happened and why i have been feeling the way i have lately. esp with S
to be honest sometimes i don't know where we are going or if there' sany point doing this.. giving/making effort
other times.. i see it.. it's good. this is something good. something worth investing in to grow.
unfortunately the last months and a half.. has thrown us off course. seriously.. with the business stuff and then the health challenges. and i sit to myself what's the point of sticking with the guy through this.. does he even appreciate me being there (Doesn't feel like it sometimes tbh)
others feels like ahaa this si he reason why i'm here
anyway s
so this brings me back to why i started the post to begin with..
i guess i was starting to feel a bit broody lol for marriage/kids my own family. see so many people starting off their own lives.. and i'm not sure where i am.
- Thankfully i've got a job for after NYSC... not sure re: pay and all pending medical reports by God's grace all goes well.
so i don't really know what to do or think. will pray about it.
but i am glad i am able to recognise that the down mood is on my own and not from anyone else and it's up to me and God to sort it out...
